Day 30 of our lockdown. Easter Monday. In Poland, we're calling it a Wet Monday (Śmigus-Dyngus) because people throw water at each other. This year's tradition hasn't failed either and the sky in Barcelona is pouring lots of rain on... dog owners, delivery people, but mostly empty streets. If you are healthy, being forced to stay at home on a day like today has its benefits. No travels, no family obligations, no gatherings with friends, no extensive cooking. You might be celebrating it like me, wearing your pajamas, eating leftovers from Easter Sunday and catching up with Disney+ (were you also done with Netflix within the first 3 weeks?). Knowing that the confinement might last for another month or so you might feel less motivated than ever, so I would like to guide you through my #stayathome DON'Ts that are helping me stay sane and healthy during the lockdown. Especially when combined with the DOs that I wrote about last week here. So here are my DON'Ts
#1 Mess up with your sleeping routine. I would say that this has been the hardest one for me because I don't have any specific "daily tasks". I've never suffered from insomnia, but for many years I've been experiencing sleep anxiety, which means that your mind is overactive in the evenings and it tells you to do more and more (and is actually very creative in thinking up new tasks) and push your bedtime until late. It also means that you wake up suddenly because you hear suspicious noises (that often turn out to be your husband snoring or your neighbor taking a late shower) or because of vivid - and often bad - dreams. These past few weeks I've managed to introduce a healthy sleeping routine, but it's been quite a challenge. At some point during week 2 of our confinement, due to staying up late watching Netflix, my wake up time moved to 10-11 am. That shortened my mornings, messed up with my eating (I would skip breakfast and have lunch first), let me spend less time outside, and make me feel terribly sluggish. And despite feeling tired I would stay up longer each night. I wanted to have healthier sleeping habits, so I started from a morning plan, a list of 2-3 things that would motivate me to get up every day. To me, they are yoga, meditation, and a yummy breakfast. But I knew myself and how easy it used to be for me to just turn off the alarm clock and sleep till mid-morning. So I began leaving my phone in the hallway and when the alarm goes on at 7 am, I'm forced to get up and turn it off (or face a pillow fight with Luigi). The first two evenings of my challenge I had to help myself by taking a light muscle-relaxing pill to fall asleep earlier and break the vicious cycle. Nowadays, if I wake up at 7 am and I'm feeling ok, I practice yoga first thing. At 8:15 it's time for a guided meditation (I chose a live option because it motivates me more to get up on time). Then I write my journal and have my favorite breakfast - a supercharged smoothie and a soy cafe latte (I started adding cardamom and cinnamon to make it even more delicious). If I still feel very, very tired after waking up, I snooze the alarm for an hour (but no more) and I swap meditation and yoga. I also pay attention to mealtimes, to keep them as regular as possible. Evenings are for cooking, playing board and card games after dinner, movies and TV shows, relaxing baths, books, yin yoga, yoga Nidra (I became a yoga Nidra teacher last year and last week I finally posted my first online session - in Spanish - you can check it out here). I've been trying to limit screen time in the evenings, but it's not always working - but I made sure to put night mode on all my devices. Anyway, within less than 10 days I was able to set up a sleeping routine that keeps me calm but energized throughout the day and ready for bed long before midnight.
#2 Underestimate the power of gratitude. Right now you might be sick because you've caught Covid-19. Or your family member is. Or your friend or a relative of your friend is. You might have lost your job, your income, or a big part of it. You've definitely lost a big part of your freedom. You might be stuck at home alone. Or you might be sick of seeing the same people every day. The list might be endless. However, the practice of gratitude can do miracles. Even if the only thing you can be grateful for right now is that you are still alive. And still breathing. And that you still have loved ones who are not affected directly by the virus. I personally could make long lists of all the things I'm grateful for, but instead of naming all of them at once, I make short lists every morning and evening. I think of or write down 5 things that I'm grateful for right now, at this particular moment. It can be anything from being grateful for having woken up alive this one more time. For the roof above my head. For the running water (and that it's clean and hot!). For the sun, if it's sunny. For 3-5 healthy meals a day. For staying at home with my husband. And then whatever comes to my mind. I used to practice gratitude for many years and it always felt amazing. I started after reading "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne - and as much as I drifted away from most of this book's New Age's practices - gratitude practice remained unchanged. Well, at least until Autumn 2018, when I gave it up. And you know what happened next. One of my big recovery goals was to come back to it. And after a few months of continuous practice, I feel the warmth around my heart every time I start my list again. And I've noticed that I appreciate little things and moments throughout the lockdown so much more than I did before.
#3 Forget about your immune system. We're reminded all the time about wearing face masks, gloves, washing our hands longer and more meticulously, using sanitizers. These are safety measures that can protect us from catching the virus. But we should also keep our immune system in the best possible condition. Last time I wrote about the importance of moving our bodies and breathing in order to keep our system alkaline and less virus- and bacteria-prone. 2019 was a year of continuous colds and flues for me and I didn't want to rely on pharmaceuticals all the time, so I researched all possible natural health defensors I could include in my diet. I promise to write a bit more on the topic in the future, but to keep it brief for today, I make sure to add the following ingredients to my daily meals: seawater, lemon, ginger, honey (I am a honey-flexible vegan), turmeric with black pepper, garlic (I've already devoured 10 little jars of eggless garlic sauce, alioli - and someone is hating sharing space with me because of that), blueberries, flax seeds, nutritional yeast, kombucha, and dark chocolate or cacao. I also eat nuts, pumpkin or sunflower seeds, sprouts, algae, and miso at least 2-3 times a week. Besides, I take supplements and vitamins. In January my doctor prescribed me magnesium to relax more easily and sleep better. She added vitamin D, which is great on the days like today when I cannot stay outside in the sun (if you live in a place with no direct sunlight, make sure to supplement yourself with vitamin D throughout the lockdown!). I love adding maca root and psyllium to my smoothies too. And an occasional glass of red wine (occasional meaning not more than one glass a day, well maybe two... we're living in Spain after all, so we cannot let all those amazing Rioja and Priorat wines go to waste!).
#4 Miss the occasion to inspire yourself. Looking for a good book to read, a good movie or documentary to watch, a great song or speaker to listen to? Here are my choices for the times at home. Let's start with reading:
"The Wise Heart. A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology" by Jack Kornfield is great for anyone who is afraid that Buddhism is too complicated and wants to know how the Eastern teachings can be applied in our modern, Western lives.
"Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead" by a Polish writer and 2018 literature Nobel prize winner, Olga Tokarczuk. It's a funny and provocative thriller in which nature takes justice in its hands and punishes those who do not respect it (sounds very familiar, doesn't it?). Jumping to the motion pictures, my biggest recommendations are "The Rocketman", a wonderful musical telling the life story of Elton John and the struggle to accept who we really are (I loved the scenes with the inner child the most - especially when it asks the grown-up Elton for a hug!). And my second choice is "Beautiful Mind". Even though it tells the story of a schizophrenic genius, it's so helpful to understand how the human's mind works and how you can have certain visions, voices, or thoughts in your head, but not let them take the control over your life. Among documentaries, my votes go for "Jago", a story of a man from a Bajau tribe of Indonesia - its people never step a foot on dry land. The other one is "Untamed Romania" about the ecosystems of the Carpathian mountains. Both of them show breathtaking shots of nature and remind us, humans, how wonderful our planet Earth is. If you would like to listen to inspiring speakers, I suggest "Being Resilient During Uncertain Times" by Tony Robbins and "Isolation as a Spiritual Bootcamp" by YogaGirl (Rachel Brathen). Oh, and there is this one song that I've been listening to since a Mindfulness Retreat I've done in January. "Nessun Dorma" by Luciano Pavarotti. So turn it on and let yourself feel...
#5 Overlook your hygiene (but DO reevaluate your beauty routine).
Sitting in my PJs, with my hair not touched by a comb, I realize how easy it is to overlook our hygiene in confinement. A question pops up in my head: how much of our daily bathroom rituals are we doing for ourselves and how much are we doing for others? It's such a good time to ask yourself this and another important question: am I doing more for myself or more to make other people accept/appreciate/want/adore/love me (choose the one that resonates with you the most). If you notice that your rituals focus more on other people's perceptions, this is your time! You can finally rest and put yourself in the center of your attention. My best advice: let the water soothe you. Take a bit longer than usual (and mindful) showers. If you have a bathtub, prepare yourself a relaxing bath with candles and essential oils (men love that too!). Also, give yourself a massage using your favorite natural oil (mine is sesame, but olive oil or coconut are great too!). If you always have cold feet and hands, like me, add a short cold shower in the morning. Let it be time for face masks, scrubs, and creams too. And meanwhile, take care of mental hygiene too. Don't let your inner judge stand over you with a whip! Can you live without your daily beauty routines and look at yourself in the mirror with admiration? Or do you feel less worthy of appreciation or love, if you don't keep up with your own beauty standards? Maybe it's a good time to reevaluate your regime and finally grasp if (and why!) you can or cannot live without specific treatments. Maybe it's time to stop believing in what your inner judge has been telling you? Clean these thoughts. Scrub them. And wash them away. And beyond those thoughts, you will finally see your beauty. Because you are stunning. You are worthy of love, appreciation, and attention. You're enough and whole! And do not let anyone (including your own mind) make you feel or think differently!
#6 Try to predict the future, constantly. The innate function of our minds is to think, to produce thoughts. The same way the stomach produces gastric acid to digest our food, our mind produces thoughts to let us make decisions and survive. But one of the dysfunctions of our mind is that it mostly produces thoughts about the past (memories) and about the future. And the more we perceive our current situation as uncertain, the more the mind will focus on thinking about what possibly might happen next. And when we are scared it will write worst-case scenarios with the same passion as David Benioff and D.B. Weiss wrote the "Game of Thrones" finale (and literally ruin 10 years of our dreams and expectations). So when you catch yourself in the middle of writing another horrifying script, pause. Take a deep breath. Take 10 deep breaths. And admit that you have no clue what the future will bring. And that so many times in the past your predictions were wrong. So you worried, felt anxious, and horrified for nothing. And even if they were right - isn't it better to worry only once, when something bad actually happens? Instead of worrying before and when it occurs? Pause. Count 10 breaths. Focus on the colors you see around. Listen to the sounds. Detect the smells. Feel the texture of the clothes you are wearing on your skin. Be mindful.
#7 Ask too much from yourself. Let's be honest. It's a totally unprecedented situation in our lives. And as much as we cannot predict how the virus or the economy will develop in the upcoming months or even years, we can predict our daily emotions and reactions even less. People on tv, social media, or among our families and friends are trying to motivate us to make the best out of this time - but be very gentle with yourself. Listen to your body. Maybe it's time to sleep more than before, maybe this is what you've been needing the most. Maybe it's time to let your body rest because up till now you were training inexhaustibly and you can let your body finally recover fully. Listen to your heart. Your heart knows what's best for you. Maybe it's not a good time to make big life decisions, but it's a perfect time to listen to your heart and its desires. So listen and promise to yourself to fulfill them once better times come. Promise to yourself to be the advocate of your heart every time your mind becomes the prosecutor. Promise to yourself to start thinking with your heart and fulfilling your life's pursuit.
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